"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour your father and mother -- which is the first commandment with a promise - 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6: 1 - 4.

      Many people in Canada are predicting that the children of the so called "baby boomers" will be the most violent citizens in modern times. Violent acts by children and youth, already common place in the United States, are increasing at an alarming rate in Canada. Who or what is to blame?

      It is a very complex issue, and I believe that there are many causes, some of which are - family breakdown, both parents spending more time outside the home working, a lack of clear moral standards, declining Sunday School and Church attendance, violence on Television, a permissive age where discipline is often considered an assault, a lack of respect of people in authority and other people's property and rights, etc. Two things are clear, there is no one cause and there is no one solution.

      However, we are not to despair. Scripture is consistent in pointing to the home, as the place to turn things around. Christian parents can lead the way. The Apostle Paul in writing to the Christians at Ephesus summarizes Scriptures' wisdom in developing strong, moral, productive citizens. We are told to bring our children up in the "training and instruction of the Lord." I suggest that this includes the following four principles.

1. OBEDIENCE. " Honour your father and mother". "Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right." One way we honour our parents is by obeying them. It is God's intention that children obey their parents, because parents are wiser and more experienced, and have been given the responsibility to protect, love and teach their children, and to help them to develop into confident, secure, morally strong and God loving adults. Children are to obey their parents, and it is the parents' responsibility to see that they do. Indeed, children are not to be mistreated or abused. All correction and discipline ought to be enforced in love.

2. TEACHING. The parent is commanded by God to nurture the child, to teach him. This is to be done in every aspect of family living, at the table, during play time, at bed time, in our little special times together. Words of truth and wisdom are to "whispered in his ear, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little." The Word of God is to be taught, by parents, and to be led by parents to believe and trust and depend upon Jesus as Saviour and as Lord.

3. EXAMPLE. The third responsibility of parents is to set an example before their children. How wrong it is to discipline a child for stealing a cookie, when the child dries his hands in the bathroom on a Holiday Inn towel. Andrew Murray, a famous minister from South Africa had four brothers and three sisters in his family. Each one turned out to be a most outstanding individual. One day his mother was asked how she managed to raise seven of the most marvellous children that had ever graced that state. She said that her only secret was to live before them exactly the kind of life she wanted them to live. Children learn far better by the example given than through the word spoken.

4. LOVE. The fourth responsibility of parents is to love their children. We are to discipline them, teach them, give them an example, and to love them. We are to tell our children we love them , and we are to demonstrate in a thousand ways how much we do love them.

      May God in His grace raise up families where children love their parents, and parents love their children; where children honour their parents and parents love, teach , set an example and discipline their children in love.

". . .do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Sincerely in Christ's love,
Floyd McPhee